I hear you
How I learned to listen in grad school
ME: “…I don’t want to talk about plans. Working inside the lab building feels depressing.” MOM: “Maybe you can talk to the department chair about finding a new advisor? That shouldn’t be difficult.” ME: “Mom, could you stop telling me what to do? I feel really overwhelmed right now” MOM: “I’m not telling you what […]
To visit or not to visit?
Awkward COVID family decisions
The public health orders are clear: Stay. At. Home. Your mom’s voicemail is also clear: Visit. Me. Now. My family managed two fun and relaxing visits during the height of the pandemic. We weighed the risks, took precautions, and enjoyed some quality time. Let’s be 100% clear: it was risky every time we gathered with […]
On grieving from a distance
Learning to speak the language of loss
“Can you make a short video for 爷爷? Just a few lines to cheer him up.” I received this text from my mother on the evening of October 12, 2020. My paternal grandpa (爷爷, pronounced “yeh yeh”) had been transferred to a hospital several months ago, and his prognosis wasn’t looking good. Thankfully, 爷爷 hadn’t […]
Miss to Mrs. to Dr.
How to plan a wedding in grad school
Congratulations! You’re engaged! Unfortunately, you’re a graduate student. People get married in all kinds of circumstances, but the graduate experience is unique, and you probably find yourself strapped for cash, time, and energy. I’m here to show you that it is possible to have a beautiful wedding despite all the obstacles we face as graduate […]
The right roomie for you
How asking the right questions can help you find your people
My freshman year of college, I lived in a dorm with five other girls and one bathroom. It could have been a disaster, but by a stroke of luck we lived together incredibly well. Not everyone had such a fortunate random draw—one friend from down the hall still talks about the “mold farm” her roommate […]
